Let's back up a bit

This is the month of my July babies. Both Giuseppe and Rocco were born in July.

Let's back up a bit. Michigan is still in a State of Emergency with the the international COVID-19 pandemic. We are able to go out and about but there are a lot of protocols in place to help reduce the spread of the virus. We wear our mask in public. We limit the amount of people we are around at any given time. We don't shake hands, hug or touch people outside of our immediate family. Businesses have their own rules on capacities and cleaning efforts. Fitness facilities remain closed for indoor workouts, but outdoor classes are an option.

Back to my kids. They have all successfully finished their 2019-2020 school year. Here is what is now living with me:

• Giuseppe, Junior (2022)
• Vincenzo, 7th grade (2026)
• Rocco, 5th grade (2028)

They have all been back at baseball with a variety of restrictions. Because of some of those restrictions, we have less travel out of state and so far Rocco and Giuseppe have one "hotel stay" tournament. Vincenzo has had all hotel stays canceled including his Cooperstown week. 

Andy and I are still working from home full-time.

Revisiting "So What?"

Starting week 6 of the Stay @ Home Order hasn't been too difficult. The hardest part has been keeping the kids uplifted and not too bored. Evenings have been hard. It's almost like a reversal of parenting. Andy and I work a normal day, if not a few extra hours. The boys are anxiously waiting for us to shut our laptops and give them focus. Keep in mind, they casually wake up while Andy and I are still getting up at 6 a.m. each morning. They have 30 minutes of school work per subject throughout the week. Giuseppe's schedule is a bit more intense since his classes will be counted for credit plus he has a test-out class for college credit next month.

Ok, so 6 p.m. rolls around. Andy and I start to turn off our workday and shift to family time. We start dinner, we have dinner and we clean up after dinner. We've gotten pretty good at the process. So now it's around 7 p.m. and we are pooped. We are honestly pooped. But the kids are ready for us to go full-force at playing and entertaining them. It's hard. 

All of this has really put a lot of things in perspective. If anything good comes out of this international pandemic, it is that it gives me a reset to really focus on the things that matter. 

Health

If this wasn't a priority before it certainly is a priority now. Obviously I want to keep the kids away from any potential sickness but it goes a bit further. Staying active and eating healthy have stepped up in importance. I've continued to instruct Dance Fitness classes virtually. The amount of times per week has varied based on my work schedule. 3-5 times a week. Giuseppe has been lifting and attending football and baseball meetings. We try to get the boys out for bike rides, walks, basketball, baseball, etc. Andy led us all on a hike a few weeks back. Even though the weather isn't ideal, we are hopeful to open our pool by the end of the month.

What I don't have time for toxic people or situations

Life is too short and my overall well-being is key to the happiness of myself, my children and my marriage. I've made the mistake of letting people in my life that aren't a good match for me and my overall outlook in life. Sometimes it takes longer to remove them simply because I give them the benefit of the doubt more often than I should. The good news is that going forward I have everything in place to lead a happy, fulfilling life. Family, Marriage, Health, Fitness, Work, etc. I need to live by the words I say all the time... "So, what? What's the worst thing that's going to happen?" 

The thing about that saying is much deeper than just saying "So What?"

Really breakdown the consequences of the decision. Are you in a toxic work environment? So what if you quit? So what? Really break it down to the worst case scenario. You quit, you can't find another comparable salary for six months, you have to downgrade a few things in the your life to survive, you get a smaller home, you sell a car or two, you quit saving, your kids despise you for leaving your job, your marriage can't handle the stress, etc. 

Ok, now that you are truly down in the dirt and life seems awful, bring yourself back up. 

• I have have 25 years of work experience and two college degrees, someone somewhere will find that valuable.
• My marriage has been put through the test many times before and we were strong enough to make it out of it.
• My kids aren't assholes and if they are I will need to revisit some major parenting tactics that I failed on. 
• There is no shame in having a smaller home. I'm not living to keep up with the Jones. 
• Cars come and go and haven't made a big enough impact in my life to care if we have to sell one of two.
• Andy and I have been extremely aggressive savers, so on these rainy days we will get through it.

Bottom line, I didn't die so I can come out of it. Maybe at a different level but I will come out of it. (Worth mentioning, if the worst consequence is highly likely that someone dies, then it is not worth pursuing. Like trying an experimental drug or being an inexperienced NASCAR racer.)

Give it a try. It's works. So what if I never do XXX again? It's a little scary, but nothing is worse than staying in a toxic situation. You're worth more than that.

COVID-19 Quarantine Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Nearly a month in of the COVID-19 Quarantine and I am finding a rhythm to my new normal. Is it bad that I am enjoying it? I get my boys at home, while working side-by-side with Andy in his home office next to my home office. Andy has already been working from home for years, so nothing new for him other than having four co-workers invading his workspace. I have had the ability to work remotely in the past but I usually don't do it nearly as often.

You're either selfish or stupid for not following social distancing protocols

Social Distancing: Day 5 (Wednesday, March 18, 2020)

It's been hard enforcing what I know is the right thing to do. I haven't left the house since Friday and neither have the boys. Andy has been running errands as needed. He doesn't complain; I think he needs to get out when he can.

Giuseppe has been asking for friends over and is pretty upset that I am putting my foot down. I explain that it is socially irresponsible for me to allow it. In my entire history of life we have never had schools shut down for a 3+ week period. Never! So, I will take this seriously. Believe me, we've never had an uninterrupted week of nothing to do. Unfortunately, it's a luxurious we have never had an opportunity to take advantage of. Before the COVID-19 order our spring break looked like this:

• Andy and I took the entire week off of work
• Vincenzo was going to perform in the Fiddlers Club performance Saturday
• Rocco was going to have outdoor baseball practices
• Rocco was going to have hockey tryouts
• Vincenzo was going to have baseball practices
• Vincenzo was scheduled to have a baseball tournament in Louisville
• Giuseppe was going to be practicing with the High School Baseball team
• Giuseppe was going to be playing HS baseball

So, as you can see, this would be a perfect excuse to take a cheap family vacation. But we are rule- followers even when those around us see this as an opportunity.

My household of boys have a higher chance of recovering form COVID-19 if we get it, but that is not what this is about. It is about slowing down the spread to protect our most vulnerable and of course flatten the curve. This isn't time for a vacation. This isn't even a staycation. Watching people continue traveling, having playdates and interacting in crowds is nothing less than irresponsible and pathetic. Their character is either selfish or stupid.

Temporarily making our "norms"

We have put a few things in place to help keep us from getting bored. Last night Rocco insisted we have one person pick a one-hour family activity that didn't involved electronics. Vincenzo won the drawing. He chose a card game. (Cards Against Humanity) We had lots of laughs and some inappropriate conversations. A different person will be picked each night.

Today Rocco and Vincenzo spent about an hour working on school work. Both their teachers offered some guidelines, yet none of the activities are required at this time. Giuseppe will be working through his AP World History Prep workbook in anticipation for college credit testing in just a few months. 

Another "educational" piece I plan to make happen each evening is deep diving into one subject. A science or social studies topic will be picked and we will discuss it as a family for 20 minutes from a 4th grade level to a high school level. Everyone, including me will have an opportunity to learn something new.

Andy and I continue to work in separate offices at home while the kids are doing a pretty good job not interrupting our work. 

As far as my dance fitness classes, they have been temporary put on hold. Yikes!!

Social Distancing Predictions

Social Distancing: Day 2 (Sunday, March 15, 2020)

I haven't been in the office since Wednesday and the boys' last day at school was Friday. Andy has had most of his travel suspended so he'll be working from home exclusively, as well. However, this is the weekend and we are already a bit out of element. If this weekend was to go on as planned we would have had one hockey game, and six baseball practices. But no, everything has been canceled.

As far as work, working remote isn't a concern for me. I'm lucky to work in the software industry which offers me to the flexibility to put my hours in from home or office, weekdays or weekends, during business hours or outside normal business hours. The kicker... gotta get the work done! My concern for the next three weeks is that all the boys will be practicing social distancing while Andy and I have to work. They have no homework, they can't leave the house, they can't have friends over. The weather is nice enough to play outside. Unfortunately we are in between outdoor ice skating season and pool season, so playing catch, going on a bike ride, playing outdoor basketball, etc. are their options.  They are old enough to entertain each other and themselves, but they will get bored. They will. They just will. Oh, did I mention they will fight... oh my, the fighting...

I'm going to have to get creative AND I am going to have to go into the office for relief on occasion. From what I gather, there will only be a few people at the office so I will continue to practice social distancing even at the office.

My other relief is my dance fitness classes. I have debated how much I need them. I have come to the conclusion that I NEED them. I did teach a SHiNE class at Travis Pointe on Friday. I even had a new customers. I put a few protocols in place to help us all stay safe. My intentions is to continue teaching my SHiNE and Jazzercise classes until the centers close down. At this point I have 3 SHiNE classes and 2 Jazzercise classes with no classes scheduled on the weekend.

What about the rest of us?
Vincenzo has been training for this since he was 2 years old. Vincenzo doesn't like to go out into crowds and enjoys his time at home. Although he loves his brothers, he would rather not attend their games or events. He's a gamer and tech guy. Yes, he can game like no other 12-year-old. However, I have found him taking initiative to go for a bike ride, walking the dogs and even jumping on the trampoline, but he did those things alone and/or with his brothers. I predict Vincenzo will get through the next 3+ weeks with minimal complaining.

Social distancing will probably take the biggest toll on Rocco. It seems every Friday and Saturday he is either staying at someone's house or we have 3-4 boys staying here. EVERY WEEKEND, both Friday and Saturday! I actually remember asking Andy just a few weeks ago if we should be concerned about how much time he is spending with friends. Every social circle he belongs to he makes friends: hockey, school, baseball, football, church, neighbors, bus, etc. He's a lot like his dad. He loves crowds, loves being around friends and he can work a room no matter the size, the bigger the better.

Speaking of Andy, he already put himself to work. He took down two ice rinks, including ours. As I write this he is at the grocery store getting us the ingredients to make meals for the next few days. I will be curious how long Andy can go without social interactions, but even more, how long can he go without seeing his boys play baseball. All games, practices, tournaments have been put on hold for the next 3+ weeks. It was hard for Andy to cancel baseball practice for Rocco's team but it was the right thing to do. Like Rocco, he loves a crowds. I predict that Andy will break social distancing and go out into crowds frequently, as he already did this morning.

Then there is Giuseppe. Giuseppe has great friends in all of his social groups and manages to keep relationships with friends from other cities that he doesn't see but a few times a year. But Giuseppe doesn't like to mix social groups of friends and he likes to keep the groups small, like 3-4 people at a time. For instance, for his July birthday I've wanted to have a big party for him, but he refuses and just wants to have several small gatherings throughout the summer with different groups of friends. The next three weeks of social distancing for Giuseppe should be fine as long as his brothers hang with him. He will get bored quickly if he doesn't have them to play with. I predict Giuseppe will be the leader in the family to make us do things together.

Family update: Summer 2019

It's that random time of the year... Family Update!!

Giuseppe passed his driving portion of his driving test today. He will go on his birthday, Monday July 8 to get his license. 

Vincenzo also stepped out of Heritage and now is officially a Middle Schooler. 

Rocco wrapped up the last of my boys at Woodland Meadows last month. He is now entering Heritage as a 4th grader.

Andy stays busy coaching and of course, with his busy work schedule traveling across the globe.

All three boys are busy with their baseball, as well as a ton of camps this summer. 

• Rocco got to do tennis & football camps. Later this summer he will do baseball, hockey and basketball camps.
• Vincenzo got to do football and orchestra camp. Later this summer he will do Scratch: coding, baseball & basketball camps.
• Giuseppe has been focused on football conditioning. 

My life is busy as usual. I recently got certified in another dance fitness program, SHiNE. My priorities remains the same with a small addition.

1. Family Family Family
2. Work full time @ Latitude CG
3. Dance Fitness
• Jazzercise 3 days a week, maybe more when subbing
• Build the SHiNE awareness and hopefully have a regular schedule class by the end of the year. 
4. Board position with SAYBS

Once you factor in sleep, I have no time left over. That is exactly how I designed it and exactly how I want it.