Thursday, September 23, 2010

The parent killer, aka Vincenzo Bove Gottfried

After a lengthy conversation with Vincenzo's preschool teacher, she has enlightened me on his unique personality she refers to as "the parent killer" or strong-willed.  


I was told to stick with constant discipline and consequences for the 12 months and I will be well reward with a fabulous child. And if done right, I won't see these problems return, but only in rare occasions that he will need to vent.


These types of "parent killer" are rare. They are known for being extremely difficult to parent, yet are amazingly intelligent. They are also known for late potty training, sometimes as late as age 4. He is 3 years, 4 months and is very capable of going in the toilet but chooses not to in order to control the situation.


If you know my VIncenzo, he is a delight to be around when he is at his best. But when he is at his worst parenting is like murder.


I have been warned that there will be many times Andy or I will actually have to walk out of many situations like dinner or a sporting event only to sit with Vincenzo in the car.


Here are some attributes to his personality, which in turn will make for a great leader later in life:
  • almost never accepts words like "impossible" or phrases like "it can’t be done."
  • can move with lightning speed from a warm, loving presence to a cold, immovable force.
  •  may argue the point into the ground.
  • when bored, would rather create a crisis than have a day go by without incident.
  • considers rules to be more like guidelines (i.e. As long as I’m abiding by the "spirit of the law", why are you being so picky?)
  • shows great creativity and resourcefulness—seems to always find a way to accomplish a goal.
  • can turn what seems to be the smallest issue into a grand crusade or a raging controversy.
  • doesn’t do things just because "you’re supposed to" --it needs to matter personally.
  • refuses to obey unconditionally—seems to always have a few terms of negotiation before complying.
  • is not afraid to try the unknown; to conquer the unfamiliar (although each parent-killer chooses his own risks).
  • can take what was meant to be the simplest request and interpret it as an offensive ultimatum.
  • may not actually apologize, but knows how to makes things right.

I take great pride in my children, but I am not looking forward to the next year of discipline.

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